15 Apr The Reality Is: Shit Happens
We like to pretend it’s all roses. But the truth is: everyone has shit to deal with. The questions is: Are you dealing with it? Or are you just pretending it’s not there?
If you have a pattern of sweeping elephants under rugs, you’re not the only one. Heck, I’ve done it. Too many times, really. But here’s the thing: Denial works for awhile, and then it cracks. Little breaks first and suddenly: CRASH! The dam buckles and you’re neck deep in shit that you can no longer ignore.
How to deal with shit.
You have two choices: Keep ignoring your shit or breathe deeply, look at it dead on, and get a shovel because you’ve got some digging out to do. Ignoring, hiding, running, and cursing only puts off the inevitable. To get rid of shit you have to go THROUGH it, else it’ll bury you alive.
Everyone’s shit is different. So tackling it takes different tactics, time, and commitments. However, here are some high level tricks for facing whatever your shit is head on.
- Embrace it. Shit happens. A lot. Look at it and assess what’s going on. Facing problems is never fun – I know from experience. It’s uncomfortable, sticky, messy, painful, all over ugh. Stop thinking about it negatively. Acknowledge it’s there and dive in!
- Figure out what the problem is and what to do about it. You may not know what the underlying issue is so start with what you do know and work backward. This sounds simple but it isn’t. Prepare for it to take awhile.
- Be present. If you ignore what is going on with you or in front of you, you’ll just make it worse when the time comes to face it. For years, I had a door I would imagine closing on things I didn’t what to deal with. It was so effective I locked away the issues and myself at the same time.
- Stop making up stories. The story in your head is usually worse than the actual issue. It is amazing how we can make a small issue so big just by imagining reactions and worst case scenarios. When we actually deal with the issue, the reactions are often NOT the worst case scenario. The Works by Bryon Katie deals with this – check it out (insert the works link here)
Give fear the ol’ heave-ho! Don’t let fear stop you. Know that once you step into the issue, decision, or problem, your fear will subside.
Bottom line: Get on with it. We all have shit. Some are easy to deal with and some take time and more work. My wish for you is to start, take a leap, and deal with it. You’ll be better for it. You’ll be free.