I just spent the last hour reworking the schedules for my two sons. We post them in the kitchen. It’s just one of the solutions we’ve implemented to see if we can help my youngest son with some challenges. Some days are harder than others. Lately, as we’ve struggled, I’ve been asking myself “Am I doing the right things?”

This is a question we all ask at one point or another – in relation to our children, our partners, and our businesses. Self doubt creeps up in pretty much everything we do. For me, right now, two boys and two businesses means things are crazy. They’re hectic. And I’m pulled in many different directions all the time. It is not easy.

I wish I could say I never yell or lose my temper. I do. I wish I could say that I love every single moment I spend with by kids. I don’t. I know now, though, that for me to get through the struggle, overcome the challenges, and be a great mom, quality wins over quantity with my boys and my business. And I have to put me first.

Some call this selfish. I call it self-care.

If you take care of yourself, you are far better equipped to handle the wild situations and stressful uprisings that life throws your way. Self care is essential. You MUST take care of yourself in order to take care of others.

Self care is a habit. Here are some tips to get you on the right track.

1. Take a breather. When I get home, I take 15 minutse of “Me Time” before I connect with my boys. At work, I listen to a song or two and have a dance party of one for just a few minutes in between meetings.
2. Book time for you. Time that has nothing to do with work, parenting, or relationships. Just for you. Take a class. Go for a walk. See a movie.
3. Forgive yourself. You cannot be everything to every one. You only do so much and sometimes you just can’t show up. Guess what? That’s ok! Walk away when you need to walk away. For instance, when my youngest son (we call him “Wild” , a name he’s earned!) is challenging and I begin to yell, I take pause and give myself a time-out to regroup.
4. Stop. You don’t always have to be doing something. It actually doesn’t matter if the dishes are done or the house is clean or the emails are answered. Take a break and let it not matter for a little while. Be still.

Life is too short to spend it not taking care of yourself. I know first hand to feel the pressures and pulls. I choose to put me first, so when the chaos arises, I can weather the storm.

If you are not taking care of you, who will?