No one has to take care of you
Taking care of yourself is your job, no one else’s.
I am not saying that when you need help, support or a hand that you don’t ask. I am all about asking for help when we need it, what I am saying is that it is your job to take care of you. To make sure you’re ok, to make decisions in your life that are for you, for what you need, for what you want – you get the idea.
If you need something, speak up! People in your life cannot read your mind – I so wish they could, life would be easier. It is your responsibility to let others know what you need. It is not people’s responsibility to try to figure out what the hell you need or what is going on in your head.
Communicating to others what you want, need and expect
Recently, I read a post on Facebook. This woman, going through cancer, was pissed at her husband for not responding to texts and cards. How could he not say something? How could he not acknowledge her? I was stunned. Really? First of all, did he know that she wanted him to say something about getting a card? I know when I get cards, I rarely call and say something to the sender. As for texts, unless it asks a question or it is a situation that needs my attention, I rarely respond. Granted, I am not the best when it comes to responding, perhaps this is why I could totally see the husband’s side.
It goes back to expectations and what you want. If she expected an acknowledgment and didn’t get one – did he know she wanted or needed one? I bet this woman never told her husband what she wanted and I also wonder if she actually said anything to him or just bitch about it on Facebook.
I love to give people things such as cards or little gifts and I love getting them. I know that when I send a card or give a gift, I like to hear from the receiver. If I don’t hear anything, I am ok with that, they don’t know I want to hear from them and they cannot read my mind.
Don’t expect anyone to know what you need
This is not just about giving gifts, this is about most things in life. Unless we state what we need, set expectations, and communicate we cannot expect those around up to magically know what we want.
Where in your life are you not communicating your expectations for what you need? This week, think about it and make a serious point of taking care of yourself. Are you setting yourself for disappointment because you have communicated your expectations?
Send me a message if you have a hard time expressing your needs to others.