Sometimes you need pompoms
Last week was a long week; a midnight trip to the ER with my youngest – he has a broken wrist. My dear friend Annie let go and left this lifetime. It was the first week without my kids. Plus working, making my house mine, and Friday BBQing 500 hot dogs at the boys’ sports day.
I will admit it would have been really easy to just turtle away and not long ago that is what I would have done. This week I stepped into all of it and let the feelings come. I didn’t retreat, I connected with others and road the roller coaster. (Did I mention it was also the first week my boys are not with me since the ex-moved out? Damn.)
My friend Annie had a mantra – make my one life count. It is in the back of my mind and goes hand in hand with fuck fine. Fine is not a place to be, it is not how you make your one life count. I know that some people don’t know how to fuck fine – how to get out of the mediocre world of just being, just doing and getting lost in fine.
Here are 7 easy ways to start saying Fuck Fine
- Do something that is totally out of character for you. I know this is scary and hard yet the idea of it is so much worse than the action. I recently wore a fascinator (fancy headband/hat) with my gym clothes to pick up the kids. (And yes, I am wearing it as I type this.)
- Do something you want to do – play hooky from responsibilities (just for a bit). Something just for you. It could be taking yourself to lunch (some people don’t stop for lunch, or they may not want to eat alone.)
- Purge baby purge. Change your perspective, move the furniture around, get rid of stuff – once you do that you will open up space for amazing things. If you need help with this as a friend who is good at it, isn’t it time to let go of some of these things.
- Forgive and move forward. I bet you’re holding on to old shit. It is so easy to dwell, yet it is not good for you. Yes, shit happened, you made bad decisions, you were wronged (or you think you were), etc…. It is time to let it go. Make peace with it and allow it to go.
- Stop the stories – the stories that you make up around things, around situations, around people… They are stories, you’re making them up, and like a good novel, they are fiction. Oh, the stories we can write! So many of us could be famous if we shared them. These stories usually have nothing to do with the situation.
- Do something every day that makes you smile, something that brings joy to your heart – I am not talking big things here. Play with your kids without the phone, go to the dog park, snuggle with someone you love, listen to your favorite song on repeat and shake your ass.
- Do what you want to do, not what you think you should. Today I bought new curtains for my bathroom. I have had nice grey ones for the last couple of years, I wanted something fun and today I saw them. They are white with pink pompoms – some will think they are not appropriate for a grown woman’s bathroom, but fuck it! I love them, they make me smile every time I look up.
Bite-size chunks, that is a great way to get started in saying Fuck Fine!
If you ever want to talk or need support, please reach out to me.