Are you surrounded by people and yet feeling completely alone?

Funny how that works. Hundreds of people around you but you can feel like you are entirely on your own.

The urge to belong is calling like a lighthouse beacon. It comes around and then passes over and over.

Sitting listening to those around me, I catch snippets of conversations – “he needs to eat,” “he’s going to throw up,” “the bacon is deep-fried,” “he says one witty thing and then goes back to being dumb.” Sometimes being alone in the crowd is very entertaining. I like to imagine people’s stories, check out what they are eating and I will admit I talk to random strangers; I love it.

Alone, not lonely

I used to have the feeling of being alone in the crowd a lot. These days, I feel very different about it. I am great in a crowd, either talking to others or not; it doesn’t matter. I don’t feel alone in the crowd anymore because I have me. This statement brings a smile to my face and makes my heart full; it’s been awhile since I have felt this way.

I am ok being alone, not in the way I use to be when I kept everyone at arm’s length, not allowing anyone to get close and stayed busy to fill my time so I didn’t feel the loneliness. Now I can sit in the crowd and not feel lonely. I can enjoy the chatter around me, the wind blowing and just being –  being at peace with me, with who and where I am.

Yes, I am a work in progress and some days are harder than others, yet I keep moving forward, for me.

The music just started (I am at a concert) and it brings joy to my heart. I have three of my loves; music, my bestie (who is getting us food) and me!!

Reach out to me if you need some support, I am only a call or email away.

Fuck fine.