Recently I have had some interesting conversations with women entrepreneurs and they surprised me, not in a that’s-amazing sort of way, but in the holy-shit-come-on kind of way.

One is an amazing woman who started her business about six months ago and is struggling. Not with the business, when you step back, it is doing well for a new business, yet she is thinking about throwing in the towel and getting a job. She has been doing it alone; she isn’t making the money she hoped; she feels isolated and is struggling with feelings of failure.

She has an amazing support system, yet she has not been sharing how she is feeling. She doesn’t want people to think she is a failure, that everything isn’t perfect. She commented on the stuff she reads on Facebook and how everyone is doing so much better than she is. News flash: people lie! I promise that those posts that show women having it all and are perfect are lies. She kept apologizing as she was telling me about this – Come on! There is nothing to apologize for.

The second women asked me yesterday what was wrong with her. She is very laid back, she goes with the flow and has a successful business. Recently people have been telling her that she needs to do something about the way she talks to people. We discussed this, and it turns out it comes up when she is direct and asks for something or states something. She even does it very politely. The example she gave me she started with, “I don’t mean to interrupt..” and followed it with a straightforward request of what needed to be done.

Are you kidding me! She is the boss, she is the head of the company, and it is her job to get things done. She wasn’t rude, she wasn’t angry, she was direct and to the point. She has apologized for it over and over. Really? You’re apologizing for giving direction.

Ladies, when are you going to stop apologizing for being amazing women with businesses?

Here is the deal:

• You are allowed to talk to others about what is going on in business.
• You are allowed to feel shitty – everyone goes through it.
• You are allowed to state what you need or want.
• You are allowed to step up and be the boss.
• You do not have to apologize for the way others feel (And I am not saying you’re allowed to be a total cow to others here).

Get the idea of perfect out of your head; there is no such thing! We do the best we can to get through the day. We have ups and downs, just like everyone else and we are allowed to have them. Stop apologizing for who you are and how you feel.

Stop apologizing today!

Here are three tips that you can embrace today:

1. Talk about it, find the people you trust – those who support you in your dreams – and let them in. We cannot do it alone we need others.
2. If you make a mistake, if you are out of line, if you treat others badly apologize, however, do not apologize for being who you are.
3. Remember you cannot control how others feel, all you have control over is you. If someone reacts to you, this is not yours – you cannot control it. Also, remember some people do not deal well with strong women.

Stop apologizing for who you are and what you do. This is YOUR life.

Fuck fine.