“You’re selfish.” This is the voice in our heads that talks us out of doing stuff for us and talks us into burning out at the expense of us. Man, I really hate that voice.
Great news: Being selfish is a GOOD thing. Learning this changed my world. “selfish” does not have any negative associations for me. When I’m selfish and I put myself first, I am a better mother, boss, friend, and more. When I was selfless, I was pulled so many directions my cracks started to show. I was so busy doing that I wasn’t showing up for anyone – including me. So, now I’m selfish.
Here’s how to put yourself first.
- Make a choice. Will you continue on this path or will you stop? Will you continue serving everyone else around you while neglecting yourself? Everything we do is a choice. Every choice has an action. Every action has a reaction. When you choose you, slowly, over time, being selfish becomes a positive influence on your life and those around you.
- Start making time for things you want to do. Actually take the time and read a book or go for a walk or write in your journal. You need to put yourself into your own schedule. I personally booked an hour a day into my calendar for me. What you want is important. Repeat this to yourself “I AM IMPORTANT”. Let this be your mantra and stick to it.
- Before saying Yes, check in with yourself. I do this by asking myself this question: What is the cost to me if I say Yes? I have a friend who asks herself: Will this bring me energy or deplete my energy? Whatever works for you, do that.
- Be choosy. It’s simple: if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. Stop doing things because others want you to. Do them because you want to or don’t do them because you don’t want to.
- Listen to your heart. The heart always knows. It speaks louder than the voice in your head. Listen. And do what it knows is right for you.