Last week we heard about losing Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain to suicide. Two people who’s death made it to the news; lives that tragically ended. Every day, however, many more commit suicide. In Canada 10 people a day commit suicide; in the US the number is 123. These numbers make my heart hurt. I know that it doesn’t include the passive suicide numbers and, if we added them, the numbers would be so much higher.
I have people in my life who have been in this position. I went through a few years that anytime the phone rang late at night; I was terrified I was going to hear someone I loved killed themselves. It was an awful period, and all I could do was pick up the phone when it rang and hope that the support they needed was working.
Not really a choice
Words like depression are used, and I do know that unless you have experienced it, you don’t understand it. I am one of the lucky ones – I have never experienced this kind of depression. Yes, I have had times in my life that I am down, I use the line – Sometimes I feel a little blue, but it’s nothing like real depression. I read an article this morning that hit me hard. To paraphrase – when you’re depressed, you know there is help; there are people who are there for you, but your brain tells you it is time, time to go. Suicide is a choice – isn’t that what we have always heard? Yet I wonder if those who commit suicide can make that choice.
When it comes to cause of death – suicide is ranked 9th or 10th. The ones we know more – cancer, heart disease, stroke, accidents, etc. are commonly talked about, yet suicide is not talked about nearly as much. It comes up with someone famous takes their life, but not when the 10 or 123 people a day do it. Mental health still has a stigma attached, but it is an illness just like cancer and heart disease. While we seem to be talking about it more, are we really doing anything?
Mental illness is like any other disease
I think about mental illness every day. On the way to work, I cross a park. This park is on the edge of the Downtown East Side, where there are a lot of people struggling with poverty, addiction, and mental illness. I know the regulars, and they know me. On sunny afternoons, I look for Ronnie; he is usually with his group of older gentlemen drinking a beer. When he isn’t there, I notice. I take the time to stop and have a little chat. Some mornings there is a dancing man, he has a big smile and wants to dance. I will say good morning to those I pass; it’s only a little thing yet it is something I can do every day.
Your demons follow you no matter where you go, no matter who you are. Rich, poor, married, single, young or old. Everyone is fighting their own battles; we have no idea to what degree.
Listen, listen, listen
I wish I had a solution. I wish I had a magical cure for those who are fighting this battle. I do know that I will go out of my way to speak to others, to listen to those who need to talk. To support those, I can. I have lost people I love to suicide and that completely sucks so I will do what I can not to have others have to go through it.
“But if you are experiencing suicidal thought, you need to know that you’re not alone. Suicidal thinking is usually associated with problems that can be treated
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