We all know what FINE means – fucked up, insecure, neurotic and emotional. This was me for so many years. There are many variations of this – I wasn’t emotional – I stayed busy, so it never surfaced yet that didn’t mean I wasn’t FINE.
My legacy – Fuck FINE!
I am here to make sure women are not fine. I am here to inspire women to drop the mask of it, start dealing with life, and all that comes with it. I believe that when you live in fine bad things happen. Not only do you miss out on the life right in front of you, but you also live in the place of in-between and coping is what you default to, not living.
Not causing, but allowing it to happen
I believe FINE is what allowed my breast cancer. I don’t for a moment think I caused it, yet I do believe I allowed it. Let me give you an example that my mentor gave me, and I use it all the time:
Imagine a working mom. She is successful with her own business, she has a great family, and active kids. Things are going well, she is only working about 40 hours a week, has time to go to the gym, make dinner, and do things with the kids. The work gets busy, her hours are creeping up, and now she is working 50 hours a week and has to find time. She won’t give up her kids’ time, so she lets go of making dinner, and then to save more time, she stops going to the gym. This goes on for a month or two, and one day she steps on the scale and OMG she has gained 20 lbs. She did not cause the weight gain, but she allowed it.
I know that this is a simple example, but I hope you get the point. She did not cause it, but she allowed it.
When you put yourself on the bottom of the priority list, when you do everything for others and not take care of you physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially, shit happens. For me, it was breast cancer. For you, it could be anything, yet something will happen – you can only carry so much before something gives.
Lost in busy
I expressed this point of view last year and the push back I got was tremendous. I was told: “Life was busy, everything was great, I had a full counselling practice, I was running marathons, volunteering with my kids, everything was excellent.” The emotion behind this made me take a step back – it actually proved my point. The women that answered were lost in busy, and I wanted to ask them when did they do things for themselves. However, I chose to shut up since I didn’t think they would have heard me anyway.
So my mission is to FUCK FINE! Stop and think about it; where do you wear the face of FINE? I know the first reactions is I am fine – really I am. Let that go and let it sink in, are you really FINE? If so maybe it is time to look at that – FINE is not the same as ok, happy, supported, mad, sad or upset. FINE is so much more, it is time to let that go.
How do you give yourself permission not to be fine? For me it’s legacy, I need to me mine one life count. Contact me here, if you need help saying fuck to fine.