Today as I got ready at the gym, I looked in the mirror and really liked what I saw. Not just being dressed for spring in a new shirt and shoes, but I saw a different woman in the mirror. That’s me! Yes, my hair is red again and I actually have lipstick on yet it is so much more than that.
Being comfortable in my own skin
I no longer have the weight of shame I carried for so many years. Like so many things, I didn’t know I had it yet I did. The shame of not being thinner, of not being prettier and it was even deeper, not being ok with the woman I was. Not being comfortable in my own skin, letting what others expected and wanted affect me.
You see, I am bold as brass but I am also a softie. I wear my heart on my sleeve and lead from it. Sometimes it gets bruised yet I still do it.
Accepting this new me is sometimes challenging. The principle I learned a few years ago with the Authentic Speakers Academy for Leadership is on repeat in the back of my head, “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” This is on a loop these days as I embrace different.
Not just owning my body but also shedding the things that don’t work for me anymore. Last week one of those became obvious. One of the things I used to do is smooth things over, find the solution or if I couldn’t, I would try to make the situation better. For example, if I had an argument with someone, I didn’t like to leave it unresolved, I would go the extra mile to make sure it was settled or the other party was ok. Sometimes it was for the other party but most of the time it was for me. I didn’t like the unsettled feelings and I would make a choice, unsettled feelings or put it away. I usually put it away, regardless of the implications to me.
Not this time. This time I took the unsettled feelings and rode it out. I am drawing a line in the sand and picking me!
Yes I don’t like the emotions that come up and I am scared of the resolution yet I am still picking me and what is important to me.
How many times do you just let things go? Smooth things over that are not great for you? I would love to hear. This week I challenge you to take note of when you do it, is it a case of not sweating the little things or is it a case of putting what you need or want aside?
Contact me here and tell me about it!