This statement is on my mind a lot lately. As you may have noticed, I am being pretty honest and open with what is going with me these days, and this popped into my head when my dad brought up a post I wrote about having a lover. OMG! Even at 49, talking to your dad about sex is weird – he is 81.
I had another lesson. Perhaps what was most interesting was that it happened on International Women’s Day. I had coffee with a guy, a nice man, has all his shit together and could make a good guy to have a relationship with. As I was sitting there, I was thinking this was not what I wanted. It would have been so easy. He was really nice and dating him would have been fine, really easy, but I would have been settling.
Man, I’ve come a long way! A few months ago, I would have dated him, I shudder to think what would have happened. Probably would have ended up years later realizing what I had done. NOT THIS TIME!
I said goodbye after my coffee and of course called me bestie – I needed to process out loud. I am a catch, I am beautiful and amazing and, as he said to me, I intrigued him. I intrigue myself these days –discovering who I am and what I want. I may not have figured it all out yet, I am working on it.
It is my choice
I have set my bar pretty high, and I am not lowering it for anyone. If you are going to be a part of my life, it is my choice. There it is – my choice. Standing in my truths, I am discovering more and more what they are and how they are me. I feel like I have just found my voice again after the last couple of years and it is coming back full force and loud. Wow, so loud! If you ask the people in my house, it is too loud; yes, I am a yeller.
Last week, I took a big leap and announced oneboobdown.com – a program for women after the breast cancer adventure. This was a big one for me. Not only is it putting out a program that is so different, but it was also announcing to the world how bad the last year was for me. I’ve had lots of comments about the program and from those in my world that didn’t realize how bad it was. On the one hand, I think I did a good job of keeping it together, on the other hand, I think about how I did a good job of keeping people from knowing what was going on with me. I don’t really like either of the thoughts.
Doing differently next time around
You do what you have to do. You do what you think needs to be done; I did that, and I got through it. At that point, I couldn’t even imagine the idea of standing in my truths.
Here’s the deal: you do what you can. I was in coping mode, and that is what I needed to do at the time. Now I know different, and if I find myself (and I hope to god I don’t) in a situation like that again, I would do it differently.
Are you standing in your truth?
Standing in your truth doesn’t have to be a big deal. It could be something as little as saying no to something when it doesn’t jive with you, or it could be choosing to do what you want or need. I will put in out there. This week as you go about what you do, think about it, are you standing in your truth? If not just make a different decision. I will tell you it feels so much better when you are.